Terminator Salvation Script

Last update: 2009-03-09 16:39:19

SCENE: A terrible wasteland. We see all sorts of awful carnage like doll's heads and skulls and stuff like that. It's pretty awful; looks a bit like Bolton town centre on a Sunday morning only with more robots. Yes, there are robots; Terminators walking around, including one with 3 legs, and one that looks like Thom Yorke

John Conner: [voiceover]: I am John Conner. The year is 2020. There was a terrible nuclear war, and everyone died. Except me, John Conner, and my girlfriend, who was Claire Danes, but no longer is. Oh and some other people. This place is rubbish. There are robots everywhere.

I am the leader of the resistance and just generally horrible.

In an awkward time-travel related twist, I have accidentally just got off with my Dad's sister.

SCENE: The secret base, John's bunk.

John: You mean Kyle Reese is your brother?

Susan: Yes, he is. He's a good fighter, isn't he?

John: Yeah, he's always fighting. So, er, listen. I just realised we can't continue this relationship.

Susan: But why not? We have so much in common; we both hate robots and love the films of Woody Allen.

John: I know, but all those things I said last night, that was before I knew who your brother was.

Susan: What's wrong with him?

John: Nothing, er, I mean, er, we're such good friends.

Susan: No you aren't. He says you keep following him around. He thinks you might be gay.

John: Yes. I mean no, no I don't. And I'm not. Look, okay, it's because I hate you.

Susan: What? You just used me!

John: Yes. I am leader of the Resistance, and as such I can do such things.

Later

Kyle: Listen, John, did you upset my sister?

John: No, what's she been saying? I definitely didn't fall in love with my Aunt.

Kyle: What? No, she's saying you said horrible things.

John: Yes, I'm a horrible person. Have you heard any more about that time machine?

Kyle: No. Why do you keep talking about time machines?

John: You can't go on any suicide missions unless there's a time machine, that's all.

Kyle: I don't get it. I want to kill robots.

John: I, er, heard they were making a time machine, and I reckon you'd be really good at blowing one up, that's all. Look at this picture of my Mom, Kyle. She's pretty hot isn't she?

Kyle: Huh? I suppose. Isn't a bit of an odd thing to ask?

John: Not really. Just wondering if you fancy my Mom that's all

Kyle: Well, er, she's er, she's dead isn't she?

John: I bet she'd fancy you.

Kyle: Just leave it, John, you're being really weird.

John: Well, just keep this photo, yeah.

Kyle: If it keeps you quiet.

John: 1984. That's when that was taken. 1984. Time machine. 1984. Time. Machine.

Share on Facebook

OTHER FEATURES

Dear Mark Kermode - Music - Film expert Mark Kermode helps you with your problems

Dear Morrissey - Music - Former Smiths singer and pop genius Morrissey answers your questions.

The Incredible Man-Spider - Music - The long-running adventures of the spider with man-like powers