Justice League Of America

Last update: 2007-11-01 20:06:04

Gotham City, night.
BAD GUY 1: Let's rob this bank.
BAD GUY 2: Yes. But first, let's rob this department store so we can buy tights to put on our heads and disguise ourselves, and stylish handbags to hide our swag in!
BAD GUY 1: Brilliant. I want a pink one.
BATMAN: Not so fast, bad guys!
BAD GUY 2: Gah! Batman!
BATMAN: About to rob TK Maxx, eh?
BAD GUY 1: Er, no.
BATMAN: Run along home or I'll do some really bad stuff to you and your dogs.
BAD GUY 2: Yikes! Sorry Batman!
BATMAN: And justice is done yet again.

Batman's House, Wayne Manor
ALFRED: Batman, I mean, Bruce Wayne, Superman is on the phone.
BATMAN: Not that self-satisfied numpty. Running around Metropolis, getting off with journalists. I hate him. And I haven't forgiven him for the time he totally ruined my chances with Supergirl by telling her I had rabies.
ALFRED: Yeah, well, he says he's got the best idea ever.
BATMAN: Does he now? This had better be better than his idea about posting lewd images to the cast of Desperate Housewives, and then when I get arrested it turns out I was the only one who'd done it.
SUPERMAN (on screen): Hey, Bruce!
BATMAN: This is so unfair. How come you know I'm Bruce Wayne?
SUPERMAN: You have the same face and voice and you live in the same house. Anyway, I was drunk last night and I came up with the best idea in the world. How about we get together with The Flash and the other guy and that one with rubbish powers and form a kind of Super-Gang where we run around causing wacky mayhem.
BATMAN: Hmm. You're right; I have been getting pretty bored around town. I just have to turn up and go "wooo" and everyone scarpers.
SUPERMAN: Nice one. I told you to lose the trousers.
BATMAN: Yeah. I'm not going to enjoy it come winter, though. So, this Super-Gang. Anyone else in?
SUPERMAN: Er... The Flash is up for it. I'm not sure about Wonder Woman. Spiderman's a Marvel character, so he's out, but pretty much all the DC guys are in, even that one who's power is basically owning an umbrella.
BATMAN: Nice one. I'm in. What's the plan?
SUPERMAN: There's going to be a big gathering type party in central Metropolis on Friday night. Everyone will be there, and it's fancy dress. The theme is Nazis and War Criminals. I'm going to make you my second in command, what with being really famous and all, so remember, your costume will have to be really good! You'll come in the back door, and then go straight on stage for the introduction.
BATMAN: Skills. I'll be there. switches off screen Alfred, this could be my ticket out of policing Gotham City in a tedious fashion. Maybe I can move to Beverley Hills, and swap turf with Axel Foley! And maybe get off with Supergirl!
ALFRED: We'd better get to work on your costume, then!

Outside The Party, Metropolis
The Batmobile pulls up, and Batman gets out in full Nazi regalia and goes in the back door.
BATMAN: This is my chance to impress Supergirl. Fingers crossed...
SUPERMAN: (on stage) And as my second-in-command, Batman!
Batman runs out BATMAN: Hey! It's me! Batman!
EVERYONE: Booo! Boooo!
BATMAN: Check out my Bat-Swastika!
SUPERMAN: What on earth are you wearing? You're dressed as a nazi!!
BATMAN: You said it was fancy dress!
SUPERMAN: Oh yes! So I did! Ha ha ha!
BATMAN: I hate you Superman.

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