Buffy's Travel Guide

Last update: 2006-11-04 23:10:15

"Hi, I'm Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. Even though my eponymous TV show finished a few years back, I get recognised all over the world. People always ask 'Why aren't you on the TV anymore, Buffy?' and I say I've been in some films like Scooby Doo and Scooby Doo 2 and they're all like 'well yeah, but what have you been in that's actually good?' and then I ram a stake through them. Sometimes they turn out to be vampires as well so I get away with it. Now, I've been compiling a list of cultural differences between different parts of the world to aid in the promotion of peace."

• In Britain, it is considered socially unacceptable to invite a man to dine with you, and then to steal his car.
• In parts of Wales, it is considered extremely rude to show the back of your head to someone. This is seen as you wishing their family dead.
• Tipping is an important issue in many cultures. In parts of America, custom dictates at least a 200% tip. However, in Barmouth, negative tipping is preferred.
• In Sicily, it is considered rude to leave the town without killing someone.
• The sight of a wet squirrel is unlucky in Northern areas of Bolton
• In Hong Kong it is rude to graphically describe surgery at a funeral.
• When going to dine with a Frenchman, do not wear a top hat. This implies you think you are taller than him. Conversely, when dining with a Belgian, refusing to wear a top hat is a capital offence.
• If you're in Khazakstan, make sure you avoid walking on a baby - they're regarded as sacred.
• Taking the uncovered corpse of a dead relative on the train is regarded as offensive in parts of Glasgow.
• When greeting a Bhutanese man for the first time, make sure your thumbs are not touching. To do so means you wish they had no arms.
• It is bad luck to ask a Welshman if he owns a pink shirt.
• Public displays off affection are generally frowned upon in Spanish primary schools.
• There is no such country as Morocco. Do not mention it.
• Never give a Maylasian man a Britney Spears record - it means you think he looks like her and that you fancy him.
• Looking at anyone is considered a marriage proposal in Iceland. Don't panic, though, you can divorce someone by blinking.
• If your car breaks down in New Zealand, don't tell anyone. It is considered the height of rudeness.
• To an American it is considered an unimaginable faux pas to wish them dead so that you can steal their house.
• People from the Isle of Man don't like you.

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