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Last update: 2005-07-13 22:04:50

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p>As has been reported on underground and secret Star Wars web site starwars.com, the official title for Episode 2 is Attack of the Clones.

This is of course a lie; the real title for Star Wars Episode 2 will be a really really really good title, like 'War of the Powers' or 'Battle for the Galaxy'.

Star Wars Episode 2 Trailer Exclusive!

Mike-Net has seen an exclusive preview of all the film's trailers, and what can we say? They're all breathtaking.

Trailer 3 - Nudist Barn Dance
Scenes from a nudest barn dance for droids (don't get too excited) are interspersed with breathtaking scenes of horrific destruction of planets, Jedi, and Harry Potter merchandise.

Trailer 4 - Money
Scenes of horrific planetary destruction are intercut with scenes of George Lucas rolling around in a big pit of money like Scrooge McDuck has. Jabba the Hutt appears and fights Mace Windu in one breathtaking scene.

Trailer 5 - Seductive Dark Side Beard
A newly bearded President of the Republic Palpatine is seen stroking his evilly placed facial hair as he laughs. Anakin is seen crying. Obi Wan screams 'Noooooooooo!' Queen Amidala wears a stupid dress. Breathtaking scenes of devastation are played. Palpatine continues to laugh, and then says 'Join us and come and see Star Wars Episode 2 next May!'

Trailer 6 - C3-PO's story
Threepio tells us what happened in the first episode as breathtaking scenes are played. He then tells us what happens in the later episodes. Then he says 'but how did this happen? Watch Attack of The Clones next May and find out, Jedi knights!'

Trailer 7 - Knightmare!
Tregard from popular late 80s/early 90s children's TV virtual reality fantasy gameshow Knightmare appears and says 'What could be in store for our adventurers? Find out in next weeks Knightmare!' Knightmare music then plays. Then Frodo Baggins chops of his head in a breathtaking scene. Then George Lucas sits on them all and laughs.

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