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Last update: 2005-07-13 22:03:34

< Rolling Spoon Music Magazine Star Wars Episode II Preview - 2 >

From the dark depths of George Lucas's dustbin [obviously a different one to the Lucas who Aids] Mike-Net exclusively gives YOU a preview of Star Wars Episode 2 - A Trial For Anakin! (exclamation mark already there) in our new feature Star Wars Revealed

Exclusive conceptual designs

This is a 4-sided lightsabre, used in the film by new Sith Darth Skagg. Little is known about Skagg's character except that he has a 4 sided lightsabre and is almost as scary as Darth Vader. It is believed that Skagg was originally a peaceful Wookiee from wherever Wookiees come from, who was lured to the dark side by tales of wild parties, cheap drink and attractive female Wookiees. Indeed, initially Skagg has all the WookieeWash he needs, until Sith Darth Maul is unexpectedly killed and he has a sudden promotion from Foot Rubber at Governer Palpatine's court to Dark Sith Apprentice. Headstrong and poorly trained, Skagg is intended to be only a transition Sith until Palpatine can turn Anakin all bad.

Here is a picture of one of the secret escape routes from the secret Jedi Base, on Yoda Island in the sea somewhere on Coruscant. Initially, the Palpatine regime involves the tying up of all practising Jedi, so the Jedi council decide to continue their peacekeeping efforts in a secret capability based on the aforementioned island, owned by Yoda. A number of quick rescue ships are designed by Obi-Wan; Yodabird 1, a fast hyperspace wooshy thing, is stored under Yoda's pool. Yodabird 2, shown, is hidden in the island's body. When ready for launch, palm trees move from side to side, and a platform moves to 45 degrees allowing quick launch.

A further image, not shown, reveals that Yoda has lightsabres in his knuckles, a bit like Wolverine on X-men.

First look at New characters!

Darth Sidious's hilarious new sidekick, personal assistant Waaa-Toffmarr, creates many comic interludes. While Skagg is away, Toffmarr holds the base. It is belived that Toffmarr's incompetance allows the the Yoda Island agents to invade the Imperial Palace at Coruscant. In this early sketch, it can be seen that Waaa-Toffmarr, a Dripnus, has two heads, each representing a different side to his irrepresable personality, the evil, arrogant but stupid side and the even stupider side, for original comedic hilarity.

The scope for comic relief characters in Star Wars is huge. C-3PO and R2-D2 were undeniably great, and contributed hugely to the genius of the classic trilogy. Likewise, in the Phantom Menace, the witty comic banter between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gonn served as welcome break from the dull theatrics of the Gun-Guns, especially that Jar-Jar Binks. A cynic would say that bringing such a cliched character into a film reeks of lack of ideas and a ploy to sell more toys, but this is Star Wars, so they are WRONG.

Not pictured, but also rumoured to be in the film are Han Solo's father, Ranceus Solo, plus an obligitory scene in which Anakin is seen building Han Solo's future ship, the Millennium Falcon, out of Star Wars Lego.

Soundtracking

Due to an argument with George Lucas, usual composer John Williams is unlikely to score this film. Williams, who has also scored memorable soundtracks for, amongst others, Jurassic Park, Jaws, Indiana Jones and that film with the dwarves that was rubbish. It is likely that the score will be written either by Yoda actor Frank Oz (also rumoured to be directing Episode 3) or the film will use an MTV soundtrack featuring N-Sync, Linkin Park and other bands that are on MTV a lot. A spokesman for MTV said "Ha ha ha ha".

MORE SOON!

< Rolling Spoon Music Magazine Star Wars Episode II Preview - 2 >

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