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Last update: 2005-07-13 21:58:28

< Ask Jonny 5 Lucas Aids 2 >

"Hi, I'm George Lucas*, billionaire creator of Star Wars, Indiana Jones and, well, some other stuff, and currently I'm busy making Star Wars: Episode II - provisionally called, in the style of Episode 1, 'The Bad Happenings', 'A Trial For Anakin' or 'Obi-Wan messes up big-time'. I've taken time out of my busy schedule of filming, editing, bathing and having dinner with my pals Steven Spielberg and Francis Coppola to chair this Q & A session with you, the nerdy Star Wars fan. I am aware that starwars.com has a similar feature, but the people who answer that are just idiots really. OK here we go:..."

Q: Why does Qui-Gonn not disappear when he dies like Yoda, Obi-Wan and Vader do? Yoda's ears, Dagobah.
A: Hmm, now then, I forgot about that one. How about this. When there were loads of Jedi, they didn't need to disappear because they didn't need to appear as ghosts to guide the other Jedi as there were already loads to do that. See? Simple. That'll be explained in Episode 2 - no - 3.

Q: How come in Episodes V & VI Obi-Wan clearly states Yoda trained him when Qui-Gonn actually did? Darth Jimmy, Stoke
A: Er... right then. It's because Qui-Gonn was dead see? And Yoda did train him a bit. Didn't you see? Also, er, man these questions are tough. I'll explain it in Episode 3.

Q: Darth Maul is the best thing in The Phantom Menace. In fact, I'd go so far as to say he's the only good thing in it. Why did you kill him off? Are you stupid? Death Star 77, Seattle
A: I didn't kill him off. Obi-Wan did. And also, he didn't fit into my intense 9-part story, so he had to go. But the good news is that Jar Jar Binks, so critically derided in Menace, plays a much larger part in Part 2. His point is explained in Episode 3.

Q: How do you react to people who claim Star Wars is full of racial stereotypes? Admiral Ackbar, Jupiter
A: Pfft. As if. No more than, say, Herge's adventures of Tin-Tin, or Gone With The Wind. All will be explained in Episode 3.

Q: Which is best? Star Wars or Indiana Jones? Harrison Ford
A: Probably Star Wars, because all the actors were cheaper. And the toys are better. Have you seen the Star Wars lego? It's genius. I have a TIE Fighter and an X-Wing and we're using them for the effects in the new movie. Only joking! I'll tell you which is best when I've finished Episode 3.

Q: Are you planning to create a spin-off series, like Ewoks, featuring the loveable Gun-Guns? Queen Amidala's Evil Twin, Zurich
A: There is always the possibility of a cheap spin-off series, and the Gun-Guns was an early idea. However, I decided that, unlike the Ewoks, the Gun-Guns are a much to ugly race to have a kids TV show about. I'm thinking more about a series of cop shows about Yoda and Boba Fett's detective agency.

Q: In the cartoon series Droids, all about the adventures of C3P0 and R2D2 before the original trilogy, there is no mention of anything that happens in Episode 1, or anything. Why? Fred Skywalker, Barnsley
A: Because.... It's all explained in episodes 2 and 3. You'll kick yourself when you see it.

Q: Oh and how come Obi-Wan doesn't recognise R2 and 3P0 in Episode 4? Fred Skywalker, Barnsley
Oh come on, all the droids look the same. You can hardly expect him to recognize them after thirty odd years. And anyway, it'll be explained in more detail in Episodes 2 and 3.

Hope that's helped all you Star Wars types`to live your lives. I'm off to finish the script to Episode 2. It's actually going to be like Animal Farm, only with space ships and lasers. Hope to see you all at the cinema July 2002 - of course you WILL all be there, just in case it's better than Episode 1. * This obviously is not the real George Lucas.

< Ask Jonny 5 Lucas Aids 2 >

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